goodnight, moon

my cat went MIA again. she knows i know her hiding spot so now i can't find her and i'm too chicken shit to walk around the entire house because there are dark spots and i'm a bit of a punk when it comes to dark spots. dammit. there's at least 3 other cats around here and i don't know if she's off playing with them or battling them. hopefully neither or option A. last time she did this, i woke up at 4 am hearing animal houls, freaked out, woke up like the whole house and raced outside only so she could wander in like nothing was going on. i love the little yellow-eyed furry ball... so i guess i'll have to stay up a while longer and wait.
i played grown-up all day so i'm super tired. it's finally time to take these silly contacts out, watch some E! channel and veg out in my PINK sweats. cheers.

corporate barbie, less the corporate and barbie bit

major LOST junkie.. totally confused and pissed that next wednesday will be lost-less and lame. the good news is the simple life comes back this weekend and pools open. sweet. if it wasn't a tad late i'd be calling my lost-friends to gossip, but i suppose it can wait until tomorrow... besides, i can't be that much of a nerd.
i have intern orientation tomorrow and i'm semi-nervous. i'm pretty sure they're going to take my picture for my "badge" or what not so i have to look official as well as officially photogenic. ha. time to play grown-up. i do wish i could say i was dressing up as corporate barbie, but i'm not working for a firm of any sort nor am i barbie-esque at all so that pretty much kills the idea of it all. blegh, i just hope i don't have to wear a blazer-ish work coat and shoulder pads. that's so 80's it makes my hair poof. plus it's almost june and june is no time for shoulder pads, as if there were ever a season for shoulder pads.
which reminds me..! you know what sucks....? being late for work, getting your period, having ZERO tampons in a house with 4 other women, and paying $10 for parking whilst making $7.50 per hour. oh yea, and running around town in a diaper all day, total bummer. and by diaper i mean pad. i'd always see pad ads on the television when i was a kid and thought it was because older people had bladder issues and needed to wear these downgraded diapers called pads. apparently, not the case since i tested my theory and wound up with pee in my shorts. whatever, i was like little and beyond ridiculous. the point is i had to wear a pad today and it was majorly lame. at least it wasn't one of those 3-inch fat crotch protector-types that you can see the outline through some silly girls pants. i don't care if anyone says otherwise but pad-lines are fucking hilarious.

i big fat heart chick lit

so i finished jane green's straight talking last night. pretty good novel until right about the end where she stops being a cynical slut and gets all love struck. i guess it happens. whatever.
i did a bit of online book browsing last night and found out that plum sykes does have a sequel to bergdorf called debutante divorce. how exciting! i may just need to blow some cash on a library of fresh summer chick lit. and maybe a smarty-pants book somewhere in there, for the sake of balance.
anyways, i told myself i would save my future dollars for this stuff:

• new digital camera
• snowboarding stuff
• invisalign
• studying abroad
• the elliott lucca sly doctor bag, i sweat it madly
• cute and mod dresses, because it's so much easier to wear a dress than pick out a top and bottom, and seeing as how i hate getting dressed, a dress is a much better idea

and other stuff i wrote down in my journal and can't remember right now...

it's payday!!! time to go pick up my paycheck... i really should get direct-deposit.

if you weren't real i'd make you up

my silly computer still won't turn on so i'm using a super slow surrogate. i also think i just alliterated. swell.
after a considerably long day filled with everything but food, mutti and i had dinner at uno's. there was a hottie musician playing cover songs from the eagles to britney spears and he managed to get hotel california stuck in my head. all i want to do now is jam out to everything and anything and i can't because my computer has decided to hibernate for the past 2 weeks. i know i could turn on the radio, or dig up my cd player, but it's not the same. maybe i should crawl out of my media-challenged cave and get an ipod-esque electronic thing. actually, my cell phone moonlights as an mp3 player, but the secret of how is something i have yet to figure out. effing technology. i'm supposed to be saving dollars for a new camera anyway, the music bit can wait. after all, you can't scrap songs and i have made a semi-promise to my scrapnerd sister to be scraptasticly scissor-happy with her at some point this summer. damn i dig the letter S. i never realized how much until right about now.
i've been reading straight talking off and on for the past few months and i am almost done. i really don't want to be done though. once i finish, i have to find another book that interests me enough to read cover to cover and that can be quite the task. what i need to do is start reading more non-fiction books that will tell me something of higher value that i can maybe use while watching jeopardy or something, instead of books with cheetah-print covers about socialites and shopping sprees. i wonder if plum sykes has come out with a sequel to bergdorf blondes... and i will say, even at the risk of sounding like an airhead, that that book was seriously life-changing. british authors create the raddest of the rad socialite novels, no doubt.

fat-skinny-fat girl

so is it skinny fat girl, or fat skinny girl, and who decides? i guess a skinny fat girl is a fatty that's a bit more toned and solid, and a fat skinny girl is like a size 2 who jiggles a bit too much. according to that, i'm a fat skinny-ish girl, since i haven't spent a day in my life being scrawny-skinny, in spite of maxing out at a size 4. and by maxing out i mean maxing out.. if a size 3 doesn't fit me, i'll be damned if i go up any higher these days. i'm much too short for all that. i've decided i'm more like a fat-average girl, because skinny isn't quite on the mark and fat is beyond insulting. the point is i weighed myself today after pigging out (always a fab idea?) and i was at 115.7 pounds. clearly not as bad as i thought or as it could have been, but in spite of a number, i seem to be a jiggly mess who still needs to drop 10-ish pounds and throw on some muscle. now, if i were 5'7'' and 115ish lbs, i would be damn hott, and maybe a tad scary, but seeing as how i am 5'4'' and flat-boobed, i have no excuse for the jiggle. i wonder why all the weight won't just go upwards and be done with it. maybe if i stand on my head for a few it will shift off my ass and i'll finally develop cleavage at age 20.9. yea right. the fab part is i still fit my high school jeans, so i know i didn't balloon on the freshman 15 or anything. i have maybe gained 3-5 pounds in the past 3 years, which really isn't so bad compared to all the girls who went to college scrawny and came back as footballers. i probably shouldn't talk about that considering they could totally wreck my ass, but then again, it's not my fault they went back for thirds at the dining hall.
i pinkie-promised myself i would be at 108 by the time school starts again. i'm not necessarily fat or anything, but rumor has it that even lettuce makes you a cow once you turn 22 and i absolutely refuse to be a cow at any age. the end.

you know what really grinds my gears..

the fact that giselle bundchen is hanging up her angel wings. super bummed. however, the girl on the new angels commercial is beyond-beyond adorable. i suppose i will get over it. i still remember when tyra banks was in victoria's secret and i absolutely loved her and her massive forehead, for obvious reasons, duh. those were the days of big-butt underwear that came up to your belly button. i'm not saying i ever wore those, but i was aware of their existence. blegh, panty lines are seriously awful. but i've decided that seeing a woman's giant panties hanging out of her giant-but still not giant enough for her massive ass- jeans, is much more ghastly a sight. especially when they are white and wrinkled and non-designer. i know, i'm a jackass, but if i have to see your damn crinkly underpants, at least have the decency to put on some calvin kleins.
so it's almost 2 am and i'm waiting for my cat to get home. how ridiculous. i'm pissed, actually. she's not supposed to play outside in the first place, let alone at 2 am. i'm done going outside to look for her since i'm absolutely terrified of the dark. the fatty windows in the living room are bad enough. i swear they have given me nightmares since i was little. i kept dreaming charlie chaplin would burst through the window and chase me around. his little hat bugs me. anyways, i guess all i can do is leave food out and wait until tomorrow morning.
so i got called old yesterday. seriously, me, and my baby cheeks, got called old. by an effing "i just turned 19" year old, nonetheless. i'm about to start flipping out if someone calls me ma'am anytime soon. i can't possibly be that old... i fell up the escalator leaving work today and managed not to break an arm or anything. it's proof that i still have the agility of a teenager. ha.
blegh, speaking of old, this girl at work told me she was married....
my instant reaction: "oh but you look so young!"
her: "i'm twenty"
me: "oh... uhhmm me too..?"
::::insert awkward silence here::::

dammit whats with people.

champagne is for celebrating

finally done with finals! i've survived another semester of college without getting fat, arrested, knocked up, or marrying the navy. i only say that because i saw a pregnant girl in one of my classes today and it made my insides turn. i swear i saw her every class and didn't realize she was preggers until exam day. pretty weird. this one chick actually brought her baby to theater class one semester.. it was like show and tell baby-day all of a sudden. whatever. good for them, but babies freak me out. and so do girls who marry the navy at 19 and then have babies. i swear it's like a double-negative. blegh. i shouldn't even go there. this navy boy kept trying to hit on me at work the other week which i guess wouldn't be such a thing if his name hadn't been "Buddy" and he hadn't been so obviously southern. a navy boy is one thing... and a southern gentlemen is another.. but i'm not down for navy Billy-Bobs and their yee-haw shit.

so anyway, i went all betty crocker after my exam and made an apple pie after my grocery store excursion. i swear i'm such a fatty.. groceries get me excited. the woman at the check-out had a band-aid on her mouth.. i guess thats when you know you're in norfolk. maybe she's like a special nelly fan, i don't know, thats not my area of expertise... but i swear it looked like it was about to fall off and like she didn't even know like it was on her face. kind of like if you go into a neighborhood pool and come out with someone else's band-aid stuck to you in a funny spot. it was like that, but better, i swear.

it's late and i have yet to shower and get pretty for a night out on the town. i'm at the point where i could either get ready or take a nap. i haven't been sleeping for the past few nights, so i know what i should do... but a tuesday night is such a terrible thing to waste. i have an early date with the beach tomorrow... so i guess i'll just see what happens with me going out tonight. cheers.