...and her thighs weren't too far behind

sometimes when i get beyond the realm of the normy boredomness i start to play with my flip-phone like some tarty high school girl at glory days. and here is the result of my post-work, pre-ride-home, sweat ass because it was 90some degrees outside trail of thoughts....

"i beg you... do not let me be that woman at 5 o'clock running about town in pantyhose and Nike's. in fact, don't even let me be the woman in hose unless it's 2 degrees outside and i'm walking a few hundred miles outdoors sans long johns or an ounce of taste. a fucking some-kind-of-bug just bit me on the foot. maybe hose aren't the worst idea ever if they could possibly prevent bug-bites. blog on a bench on a text to absolutely no one. fab. i crave argentinian ice cream from some spot in gtown that i researched while restaurant shopping at work. must go.

i "sauntered" into the bathroom today in honor of the day (national sauntering day, said the man on the radio.. you have to believe it when it's one of those news/traffic/weather channels, they seem to know their shit) and was overwhelmed by vanilla scent. oh memories of middle school when the fad was orange everything and chubby preteen girls reeked of vanilla "body splash" from the mecca of reeking, bath and body works. i take that back, i love bath and body works, but i hate smelling like a pastry.

it's hot as balls outside. i know this because....
A) i am outside
B) i get around a bit (...only joking, but it seemed like the clever thing to say)

if you need a visual, i was sitting at one of those bus-stop booths waiting for my dad to pick me up while typing all this on my cellular.. when out of nowhere this woman in tight green sweatpants starts to jay-walk-panic-run across the street. you know how some people dress like they work out, but really don't lift much more than a fork? exactly. i had no idea just how tight her pants were or how many forks she'd lifted until i looked twice and realized her outer thigh rolls were quaking behind her with every pounding step. blegh, i shudder and shit myself scarred at the memory. i've given up forks starting tomorrow."

auf wiedersehen, goodbye.

standing in my bare feet

weekends are automatic shoe-boycotting-days. i meant to step out and buy black polish or some other shade of something not pink or peach and typically me, sadly i didn't and will continue to have nude nails for a few more days. i honestly actually don't like to wear polish, but i figured i might as well, for really no reason except that's the girl-thing to do and i am, after all, a lady. not that that isn't an obvious fact or something. i also meant to straighten my hair. i'm full of intent and lacking on action. i'm sure even my to-do lists that are circa 2004 are still incomplete. i have serious ADD when it comes to errands.
i've been avoiding the victorias secret website for a couple of days now... my amex bill is already going to kick me on both sides of my tush. i should be buying "grown-up" clothes so i can't completely justify buying more sweat pants and P!NK sports bra's. seriously, i can shop at one of the sexiest stores in the world and come out buying nothing but sweat pants and sports bra's. it's a skill of some sort, i'm sure. it's like, i have so much cutesy underwear already that there is no need for more since a lot of it hasn't even been put to a test. that's besides the point. but really, if you're buying underthings just to get naked with some dude who's ultimate goal for the evening is to get you out of your underthings, whats really the point? if the boy wants to get you in your nuddy pants, you're underwear isn't really going to be a deal-breaker of any sort unless it's saggy, white and up to your ribs. and now that i seem like a tart, i will babble on about something else.
the E! channel has been giving me a guilt trip all weekend by playing "25 best swimsuit moments" and "101 sexiest bodies" all damn weekend back to back. i'm signing up for "fit to win" on monday for motivation's sake and because they will test all my fattyness and health stuff which is something i've been meaning to do for a while. i don't eat crap or grease or fried crap so i'm nearly certain my insides are fine, but you really never know.
time for a bed... i must prepare for another 5 days of walking in stilts.