no punch backs

blog it out

2007-10-24T11:19:00.000-05:00

ugh! it's barely noon and i'm already in a pissie mood. i woke up early this morning and drove to my doctor to get a shot, only to find out that i won't be able to get the last of the three injections on time and therefore, it will defeat the purpose of the first two. i guess theres no point in getting needles stuck in me for nothing. vaccines are silly, but necessary. the stupid thing is that i was excited about it.

on a brighter note, after leaving the office all bummed and blue without a hello kitty band-aid or blow-pop, i went to two of my happy places (the ones in norfolk, anyway, tysons is a bit of a hike) costco and target. i'm madly excited about the dvd's i got at costco.. instant immersion for french and italian, the crash course edition. i know it sounds silly, but for $5 each, who would really pass that up? i considered buying the spanish one too, since i'm an absolute idiot and all, but then i caught a wicked case of shame and thought about how much i'd get made fun of by my own familia if i got it. besides, a better crash course is going home for the weekend or watching telemundo. pass.

target was kind of weak.. i bought new deodorant which i'm proud to say i'm wearing right now. it sort of smells like a baby's powdered ass. i don't quite like it, but i'll give it a whirl and see how it holds up after my elliptical excursion. i really don't like girly scented things, but i like to smell nice. i don't know, all that flowery laundry detergent and body-splashy stuff makes me itch. my skin is so anti-social. it's quite a battle. i miss my old deodorant already.

still super excited about the 365days challenge on flikr! it's brought out the blog-geek in me once again. i stopped blogging because i was behaving wayyy too inappropriately to talk about it, but now that i have something new to blog about, i can still behave like an ass and blog about other stuff. it's a sweet deal.. and so is sort of being able to still do the middle splits (while holding a camera, hello!).. not bad for a girl who used to dance.. like 12 years ago! hey, at least i can still do it on my right side. linda's academy would be so proud of their fat little ballerina...

my mom wanted me to be a twin..

2007-10-22T21:51:00.001-05:00

can you imagine the mess that would have been?

anyways, it's not that i'm a traitor to google.. but i joined yahoo's flikr today after receiving an e-mail from my snap-shot happy non-twin sister and joined a group that challenges it's members to take a self-portrait every day for 365 days. i'm madly in love with the idea. a slightly legitimate excuse to take silly pictures of myself? sold.

sooo... i spent my afternoon taking self-portraits. this is what happens when you don't have class until 7 p.m. on a monday night. don't get me wrong, i did finance homework, went to the bank, to the gym, and tried on my halloween costume (or lack of!) all before then too, but sometime after all of that and before my 3 hour auditing class, i got a wicked case of camera A.D.D.

since you can only post one picture to the group per day, i'm blogging some of the reject pictures i took that didn't make my final cut. if it's not obvious, i'm in my bathroom, sitting on the little tiny excuse for a sink that barely holds my blow dryer and leading up around my mirror.
not bad for day one....

what a feeling! bein's believin'...

2007-08-01T23:57:00.000-05:00

i can have it all, now i'm dancing for my life...!

you know what really makes me giggle? hearing who people think i look like. today, for the very first time, it was "the girl from flashdance." so you can imagine how stoked that got me! i ran home and threw on my legwarmers and tights and did some ballerina break dancing in the basement with my welding mask on, duh. the only true maybe resemblance i see is the big hair.. damn, why wasn't i born sooner? i could have been an icon of the 80's.

went to auld sheebeen's for the first time tonight.. still can't spell it.. working on saying it right. totally psyched to flash my "i'm seriously 21" ID.. but no one asked! what the hell and why didn't i know this sooner? i did, however, have a lovely time hanging out with marco & company.. super bummed that he's moving away.. seriously seriously bummed. if only miami was a roadtrip away!

on a brighter note, i am the proud new owner of a canon cam! woo!

my blog needs a face-lift and a brazilian butt implant

2007-07-30T21:56:00.001-05:00

but who doesn't?

pinky promised myself to take more pictures once my canon-cam is officially mine and pretty-ify my blogspot.

life in super fab shoes

2007-07-30T21:26:00.001-05:00

except i confess.. i have tres fab shoes (somewhere under my target flip flops?) but i wear steve maddens to work and have managed to beat the effing shit out of them within the past 10 weeks. i may have more miles on my stevies than i have on my aesics. stupidest revelation ever. i hope it's not true.

freaked out about 2minutes ago because i thought i lost my "things i totally need to blogify" list from july 9th.. it was a monday and it must have been miserably boring because i distinctly recall typing it at work. i even made time to make it some ridiculous non-times new roman-font. in case i manage to really lose it this time, here is what it contains:

a) my giant SPEEDO/nipple exhibit experience.. and i don't mean that i have giant nipples, blegh silver dollar D's

b) zumba dancing

c) my underpantless commute to work... tribute to britney spears and lack of sense for packing overnight clothes

d) my awesome dress being in Vogue and Life&Style (clearly i am more excited about one over the other)
..tres NON-EXCITED that some broad had it on at some dude's wedding.. (although it was the PERFECT timing for my "yea she has my dress.... IN A BIGGER SIZE!"--joke/bit of truth)
but whatever, she can be cropped into the pending "who wore it best? erika wore it it best!" page i fully intend to put together.. with a different title, naturally.

e) the mad cow case of birthday blues i havehadhave

f) my very first investment in a music-less CD

g) how much i want to kiss a sea lion in the Galapagos

writing a list out is nearly as exhausting as doing things or writing the whole story. i either totally killed the punch-line or have created a cliff-hanger...

either way, i'm tired, and it's officially time to watch the Tudors on demand!

like the time i twisted my cankle...

2007-07-16T17:09:00.000-05:00

so i'm one of those super nerds who has never really been in denial and i have no qualms confessing that i, super nerd, made a list of things i totally need to blogify. however, my fatass left the list upstairs, and will blogify today's events instead.. for now. can you tell i really really really miss my computer/internet/web-freedomosity? ugh.

i had the genius idea to wear my heels into work today instead of my flip-flops... mostly because my long pants didn't quite go with my short legs and flat shoes and i was hoping not to bust my ass on my pant leg before 8 am. so there i went, clicking and smacking my heels on the tile-ish floor, trying to make it across the building and up 5 flights of stairs within 3 minutes, when out of no where, my left heel gave, slightly. i seriously thought "wow, that would have sucked, i could have been out one cankle," and then suddenly, without warning or reason or any form of "cuidado! piso mojado!" bullshit, my right heel completely wigs out and i'm suddenly naomi campbell on vivienne westwood's catwalk! (less the whole "raging-bitch" part) anyways, i have those "almost-falls" often enough to know how to catch myself, but it was still tres embarassing and enough for me to blurt out a hearty "SHIT!" at the pentagon. i know this would have been a much better story if i had actually gone down and some marine had to scoop me up, but i can't help it if i'm too agile and lacking in the damsel in distress department...

i keep wanting to bring my camera (you know, the one i don't really have) to work just so i can take pictures of the silent-peace-protesters who stand outside. i mean, they just stand their with their hippie signs while everyone walks in to work and i really want to get a snapshot! there's this asian man who wears one of those asian toga things and i promise you, he is Buddha reincarnated, and he just stands there with his tambourine and bald head and plays a little beat while i hop into work. talk about a kodak moment! i wonder how much shit i can get in to for taking pictures... of the Buddha tambourine man? maybe it's not a tambourine, because i'm pretty sure he hits it with a stick.. but you know, whatever, Buddha tambourine man sounds too tres-beyond-rad to stop saying.

...and her thighs weren't too far behind

2007-06-19T22:36:00.001-05:00

sometimes when i get beyond the realm of the normy boredomness i start to play with my flip-phone like some tarty high school girl at glory days. and here is the result of my post-work, pre-ride-home, sweat ass because it was 90some degrees outside trail of thoughts....

"i beg you... do not let me be that woman at 5 o'clock running about town in pantyhose and Nike's. in fact, don't even let me be the woman in hose unless it's 2 degrees outside and i'm walking a few hundred miles outdoors sans long johns or an ounce of taste. a fucking some-kind-of-bug just bit me on the foot. maybe hose aren't the worst idea ever if they could possibly prevent bug-bites. blog on a bench on a text to absolutely no one. fab. i crave argentinian ice cream from some spot in gtown that i researched while restaurant shopping at work. must go.

i "sauntered" into the bathroom today in honor of the day (national sauntering day, said the man on the radio.. you have to believe it when it's one of those news/traffic/weather channels, they seem to know their shit) and was overwhelmed by vanilla scent. oh memories of middle school when the fad was orange everything and chubby preteen girls reeked of vanilla "body splash" from the mecca of reeking, bath and body works. i take that back, i love bath and body works, but i hate smelling like a pastry.

it's hot as balls outside. i know this because....
A) i am outside
B) i get around a bit (...only joking, but it seemed like the clever thing to say)

if you need a visual, i was sitting at one of those bus-stop booths waiting for my dad to pick me up while typing all this on my cellular.. when out of nowhere this woman in tight green sweatpants starts to jay-walk-panic-run across the street. you know how some people dress like they work out, but really don't lift much more than a fork? exactly. i had no idea just how tight her pants were or how many forks she'd lifted until i looked twice and realized her outer thigh rolls were quaking behind her with every pounding step. blegh, i shudder and shit myself scarred at the memory. i've given up forks starting tomorrow."

auf wiedersehen, goodbye.

standing in my bare feet

2007-06-03T22:41:00.000-05:00

weekends are automatic shoe-boycotting-days. i meant to step out and buy black polish or some other shade of something not pink or peach and typically me, sadly i didn't and will continue to have nude nails for a few more days. i honestly actually don't like to wear polish, but i figured i might as well, for really no reason except that's the girl-thing to do and i am, after all, a lady. not that that isn't an obvious fact or something. i also meant to straighten my hair. i'm full of intent and lacking on action. i'm sure even my to-do lists that are circa 2004 are still incomplete. i have serious ADD when it comes to errands.
i've been avoiding the victorias secret website for a couple of days now... my amex bill is already going to kick me on both sides of my tush. i should be buying "grown-up" clothes so i can't completely justify buying more sweat pants and P!NK sports bra's. seriously, i can shop at one of the sexiest stores in the world and come out buying nothing but sweat pants and sports bra's. it's a skill of some sort, i'm sure. it's like, i have so much cutesy underwear already that there is no need for more since a lot of it hasn't even been put to a test. that's besides the point. but really, if you're buying underthings just to get naked with some dude who's ultimate goal for the evening is to get you out of your underthings, whats really the point? if the boy wants to get you in your nuddy pants, you're underwear isn't really going to be a deal-breaker of any sort unless it's saggy, white and up to your ribs. and now that i seem like a tart, i will babble on about something else.
the E! channel has been giving me a guilt trip all weekend by playing "25 best swimsuit moments" and "101 sexiest bodies" all damn weekend back to back. i'm signing up for "fit to win" on monday for motivation's sake and because they will test all my fattyness and health stuff which is something i've been meaning to do for a while. i don't eat crap or grease or fried crap so i'm nearly certain my insides are fine, but you really never know.
time for a bed... i must prepare for another 5 days of walking in stilts.

goodnight, moon

2007-05-24T23:03:00.000-05:00

my cat went MIA again. she knows i know her hiding spot so now i can't find her and i'm too chicken shit to walk around the entire house because there are dark spots and i'm a bit of a punk when it comes to dark spots. dammit. there's at least 3 other cats around here and i don't know if she's off playing with them or battling them. hopefully neither or option A. last time she did this, i woke up at 4 am hearing animal houls, freaked out, woke up like the whole house and raced outside only so she could wander in like nothing was going on. i love the little yellow-eyed furry ball... so i guess i'll have to stay up a while longer and wait.
i played grown-up all day so i'm super tired. it's finally time to take these silly contacts out, watch some E! channel and veg out in my PINK sweats. cheers.

corporate barbie, less the corporate and barbie bit

2007-05-23T22:56:00.000-05:00

major LOST junkie.. totally confused and pissed that next wednesday will be lost-less and lame. the good news is the simple life comes back this weekend and pools open. sweet. if it wasn't a tad late i'd be calling my lost-friends to gossip, but i suppose it can wait until tomorrow... besides, i can't be that much of a nerd.
i have intern orientation tomorrow and i'm semi-nervous. i'm pretty sure they're going to take my picture for my "badge" or what not so i have to look official as well as officially photogenic. ha. time to play grown-up. i do wish i could say i was dressing up as corporate barbie, but i'm not working for a firm of any sort nor am i barbie-esque at all so that pretty much kills the idea of it all. blegh, i just hope i don't have to wear a blazer-ish work coat and shoulder pads. that's so 80's it makes my hair poof. plus it's almost june and june is no time for shoulder pads, as if there were ever a season for shoulder pads.
which reminds me..! you know what sucks....? being late for work, getting your period, having ZERO tampons in a house with 4 other women, and paying $10 for parking whilst making $7.50 per hour. oh yea, and running around town in a diaper all day, total bummer. and by diaper i mean pad. i'd always see pad ads on the television when i was a kid and thought it was because older people had bladder issues and needed to wear these downgraded diapers called pads. apparently, not the case since i tested my theory and wound up with pee in my shorts. whatever, i was like little and beyond ridiculous. the point is i had to wear a pad today and it was majorly lame. at least it wasn't one of those 3-inch fat crotch protector-types that you can see the outline through some silly girls pants. i don't care if anyone says otherwise but pad-lines are fucking hilarious.

i big fat heart chick lit

2007-05-18T10:11:00.000-05:00

so i finished jane green's straight talking last night. pretty good novel until right about the end where she stops being a cynical slut and gets all love struck. i guess it happens. whatever.
i did a bit of online book browsing last night and found out that plum sykes does have a sequel to bergdorf called debutante divorce. how exciting! i may just need to blow some cash on a library of fresh summer chick lit. and maybe a smarty-pants book somewhere in there, for the sake of balance.
anyways, i told myself i would save my future dollars for this stuff:

new digital camera
snowboarding stuff
invisalign
studying abroad
the elliott lucca sly doctor bag, i sweat it madly
cute and mod dresses, because it's so much easier to wear a dress than pick out a top and bottom, and seeing as how i hate getting dressed, a dress is a much better idea

and other stuff i wrote down in my journal and can't remember right now...

it's payday!!! time to go pick up my paycheck... i really should get direct-deposit.

if you weren't real i'd make you up

2007-05-17T23:16:00.000-05:00

my silly computer still won't turn on so i'm using a super slow surrogate. i also think i just alliterated. swell.
after a considerably long day filled with everything but food, mutti and i had dinner at uno's. there was a hottie musician playing cover songs from the eagles to britney spears and he managed to get hotel california stuck in my head. all i want to do now is jam out to everything and anything and i can't because my computer has decided to hibernate for the past 2 weeks. i know i could turn on the radio, or dig up my cd player, but it's not the same. maybe i should crawl out of my media-challenged cave and get an ipod-esque electronic thing. actually, my cell phone moonlights as an mp3 player, but the secret of how is something i have yet to figure out. effing technology. i'm supposed to be saving dollars for a new camera anyway, the music bit can wait. after all, you can't scrap songs and i have made a semi-promise to my scrapnerd sister to be scraptasticly scissor-happy with her at some point this summer. damn i dig the letter S. i never realized how much until right about now.
i've been reading straight talking off and on for the past few months and i am almost done. i really don't want to be done though. once i finish, i have to find another book that interests me enough to read cover to cover and that can be quite the task. what i need to do is start reading more non-fiction books that will tell me something of higher value that i can maybe use while watching jeopardy or something, instead of books with cheetah-print covers about socialites and shopping sprees. i wonder if plum sykes has come out with a sequel to bergdorf blondes... and i will say, even at the risk of sounding like an airhead, that that book was seriously life-changing. british authors create the raddest of the rad socialite novels, no doubt.

fat-skinny-fat girl

2007-05-14T16:50:00.000-05:00

so is it skinny fat girl, or fat skinny girl, and who decides? i guess a skinny fat girl is a fatty that's a bit more toned and solid, and a fat skinny girl is like a size 2 who jiggles a bit too much. according to that, i'm a fat skinny-ish girl, since i haven't spent a day in my life being scrawny-skinny, in spite of maxing out at a size 4. and by maxing out i mean maxing out.. if a size 3 doesn't fit me, i'll be damned if i go up any higher these days. i'm much too short for all that. i've decided i'm more like a fat-average girl, because skinny isn't quite on the mark and fat is beyond insulting. the point is i weighed myself today after pigging out (always a fab idea?) and i was at 115.7 pounds. clearly not as bad as i thought or as it could have been, but in spite of a number, i seem to be a jiggly mess who still needs to drop 10-ish pounds and throw on some muscle. now, if i were 5'7'' and 115ish lbs, i would be damn hott, and maybe a tad scary, but seeing as how i am 5'4'' and flat-boobed, i have no excuse for the jiggle. i wonder why all the weight won't just go upwards and be done with it. maybe if i stand on my head for a few it will shift off my ass and i'll finally develop cleavage at age 20.9. yea right. the fab part is i still fit my high school jeans, so i know i didn't balloon on the freshman 15 or anything. i have maybe gained 3-5 pounds in the past 3 years, which really isn't so bad compared to all the girls who went to college scrawny and came back as footballers. i probably shouldn't talk about that considering they could totally wreck my ass, but then again, it's not my fault they went back for thirds at the dining hall.
i pinkie-promised myself i would be at 108 by the time school starts again. i'm not necessarily fat or anything, but rumor has it that even lettuce makes you a cow once you turn 22 and i absolutely refuse to be a cow at any age. the end.

you know what really grinds my gears..

2007-05-12T00:30:00.000-05:00

the fact that giselle bundchen is hanging up her angel wings. super bummed. however, the girl on the new angels commercial is beyond-beyond adorable. i suppose i will get over it. i still remember when tyra banks was in victoria's secret and i absolutely loved her and her massive forehead, for obvious reasons, duh. those were the days of big-butt underwear that came up to your belly button. i'm not saying i ever wore those, but i was aware of their existence. blegh, panty lines are seriously awful. but i've decided that seeing a woman's giant panties hanging out of her giant-but still not giant enough for her massive ass- jeans, is much more ghastly a sight. especially when they are white and wrinkled and non-designer. i know, i'm a jackass, but if i have to see your damn crinkly underpants, at least have the decency to put on some calvin kleins.
so it's almost 2 am and i'm waiting for my cat to get home. how ridiculous. i'm pissed, actually. she's not supposed to play outside in the first place, let alone at 2 am. i'm done going outside to look for her since i'm absolutely terrified of the dark. the fatty windows in the living room are bad enough. i swear they have given me nightmares since i was little. i kept dreaming charlie chaplin would burst through the window and chase me around. his little hat bugs me. anyways, i guess all i can do is leave food out and wait until tomorrow morning.
so i got called old yesterday. seriously, me, and my baby cheeks, got called old. by an effing "i just turned 19" year old, nonetheless. i'm about to start flipping out if someone calls me ma'am anytime soon. i can't possibly be that old... i fell up the escalator leaving work today and managed not to break an arm or anything. it's proof that i still have the agility of a teenager. ha.
blegh, speaking of old, this girl at work told me she was married....
my instant reaction: "oh but you look so young!"
her: "i'm twenty"
me: "oh... uhhmm me too..?"
::::insert awkward silence here::::

dammit whats with people.

champagne is for celebrating

2007-05-01T20:51:00.000-05:00

finally done with finals! i've survived another semester of college without getting fat, arrested, knocked up, or marrying the navy. i only say that because i saw a pregnant girl in one of my classes today and it made my insides turn. i swear i saw her every class and didn't realize she was preggers until exam day. pretty weird. this one chick actually brought her baby to theater class one semester.. it was like show and tell baby-day all of a sudden. whatever. good for them, but babies freak me out. and so do girls who marry the navy at 19 and then have babies. i swear it's like a double-negative. blegh. i shouldn't even go there. this navy boy kept trying to hit on me at work the other week which i guess wouldn't be such a thing if his name hadn't been "Buddy" and he hadn't been so obviously southern. a navy boy is one thing... and a southern gentlemen is another.. but i'm not down for navy Billy-Bobs and their yee-haw shit.

so anyway, i went all betty crocker after my exam and made an apple pie after my grocery store excursion. i swear i'm such a fatty.. groceries get me excited. the woman at the check-out had a band-aid on her mouth.. i guess thats when you know you're in norfolk. maybe she's like a special nelly fan, i don't know, thats not my area of expertise... but i swear it looked like it was about to fall off and like she didn't even know like it was on her face. kind of like if you go into a neighborhood pool and come out with someone else's band-aid stuck to you in a funny spot. it was like that, but better, i swear.

it's late and i have yet to shower and get pretty for a night out on the town. i'm at the point where i could either get ready or take a nap. i haven't been sleeping for the past few nights, so i know what i should do... but a tuesday night is such a terrible thing to waste. i have an early date with the beach tomorrow... so i guess i'll just see what happens with me going out tonight. cheers.

more ovaltine, please

2007-04-29T04:13:00.000-05:00

pushing 5 am on a sunday morning. the quiet reminds me that i should be napping by now, but i'm not, obviously.
i've been behaving super nerd-like lately and not going out and studying a lot in lieu of exams and such, but i decided to be social tonight do the bar thing for a bit. i swear i wasn't planning on drinking, but the bartenders were being beyond lovely and hooking it up with what tasted like delicious drunken dimetapp shots. about 6 of those later, i walked my surprisingly sober ass home and got back to reading. or i've tried to anyway, but i'm super wired, super sober, and super distracted. so the point is, now that i've realized i may have one, a cappuccino, redbull, and liquor combo might possibly be the most fab idea ever or totally wretched.
i think the fact that i got into yet another pointless fight with the boyfriend probably isn't helping the sleepless situation. i swear, shit just escalates... it gets to the point where i'm not even slightly mad about what we started talking about in the first place, but i'm beyond pissed that we're still even talking about it. it's like that expression when you beat the horse or something. i don't know. it's a white-person saying of some sort. and i would never beat a horse, obviously. i'm actually on the verge of giving up meat.

anyways, exams are over in 3 days so i'll be able to go back to sleeping and being in a relatively decent mood soon enough.

i'm going home!

2007-02-27T19:31:00.000-05:00

so for the past 6 days i have done nothing but study my ass off for my accounting midterm, and now that i only have two left, i'm feeling rather tired and a bit lazy about studying again. i'm going to do it, but i don't want to. i wonder what life would be like if i wasn't such a dork. probably a whole lot of fun.. but at my own expense.
anyway, i just talked to my sister and she reminded me how badly i need a new job. i suppose i will put that on my to-do list... but where the hell would i work? the idea of working at a restaurant makes me pukey inside since i A) can't stand the smell of food and B) can't stand when i wind up smelling like food. okay, so for the most part, the smell of food isn't so bad, but when it comes to fried food or food with a lot of random condiments, i want to gag. it's like i get fat just smelling it. anyways, i'll look into it.

spring break is almost here and i am super excited! i can't wait to go home.. i haven't been home since right after new years and that was only for a day or two. i absolutely cannot wait! i'm not super stoked about the possibility of driving in snow, but i'm down for playing in it.. i wonder if i could snowboard in my back yard..

bad blogger strikes back.. or again.. or something

2007-02-26T09:17:00.000-05:00

after a month-long hiatus, i am back and writing about random shit once again. heres the deal: i fell madly in love with my jordi labanda journal and pushed internet writing away, then i got cold feet about writing "what i really think" in a journal that could easily grow stiletto's and run away. and then, i made a lent-olution to try to write more so i would have something to read later.. seriously, i am very self-centered sometimes. and so now i'm back with not a whole lot to say before my 10 am class except just that. i should probably work on getting dressed since i can't exactly stroll across campus in just my hot pink socks.. although it would be a rather sexy sight. speaking of sexy, i took a quiz on glam.com about what my sexiest quality is, and this is what it said:

Independence:
"Your sexiest quality is that you don’t care if you have one or at least whether your date thinks you do. Individual and strong, you attract others by doing your own thing with confidence. This is especially irresistible to those used to women who are eager to please. As a result, your companions often work overtime to get your approval."

so basically, i'm nobody's lap dog and i'm not a phony trophy either.. obviously.. i can't even manage to brush my hair everyday, let alone wear make-up. have you ever seen some of those girls without their faces on? talk about WOOF!

i love jordi

2007-01-21T22:15:00.000-05:00

so not that anyone really cares... but i've been a totally bad blognerd lately. i got a new jordi labanda journal and have been writing in that instead of my online journal. i mean... it's labanda.. my artsy spanish boyfriend.. how can i possibly resist writing in my adorable jordi journal? i can't, clearly, and i won't, dammit. i dunno.. i don't get people who completely spill their hearts out via internet, and it's not that i have so much to spill, i just find it easier and more honest to write certain things privately.. and then i wind up writing everything in there.. even the totally not private stuff.. so i have nothing left to write online. i don't know. this is my sorry excuse for a post.

anyways, i've been randomly pissie lately. like, i get really irritated when guys get whipped on their silly girlfriends and are no longer allowed to socialize with the rest of the world. it's lame and it seems to be totally vogue these days. it's like they get wifey syndrome or something. whatever, i just threw up in my mouth.

school is totally weird lately. i feel like i have way too much free time and don't know what to do with it. i get major ADD watching food network and pretending i know how to cook or something. i did get my very first cookbook though.. so that all might change. i'm more excited about the cookie book mike bought me though. everyone knows i'm a fatty for cookies. it's cool though because i've been working out.. i swear. i got this adorable bikini in argentina and its tres skimpy.. it's pretty much my motivation for getting my ass to the gym. i mean, i'm not trying to look like i stole my bikini from an 8 year old or something.. that would just be silly.

goodbye special ringtone

2007-01-15T21:23:00.000-05:00

so i'm getting a new phone in a week or so which is bittersweet in a really lame way. i know it's dumb to get attached to a phone.. i mean, it doesn’t even have a camera in it and it's so very 2 years ago.. but i can't help it. my little nokia has survived multiple falls, a few angry throws, trips around the globe, a swim in a toilet, way too many boyfriends and just enough breakups. i don't even know how i'm ever going to get used to a new phone with all this bluetooth, mp3, emailing shit. the worst part is going to be transferring phone numbers, but since i have the awesomely bad habit of deleting people out of my phone in a blink, i'm pretty sure it won't be as bad as it could be.
maybe it's smart, or childish, or mean, or perhaps it's just immature, but when i get mad at people, i simply delete them from my phone. it guarantees that no matter what happens, good or bad, i'm just not going to call them. even if it gets to the point where i've forgotten about hating them or decided that i'm just over it, their numbers are out. i figure they can call me when they decide to stop being assholes and doing the shitty things that made me delete them in the first place. its silly that i have numbers in my phone from people i don't even remember meeting or who i haven’t even talked to since freshman year and i don't really bother to take them out. but if someone i actually like and see on a regular basis pisses me off to that special point, i don't even hesitate to get rid of them. suddenly, even if they meant the world to me just a moment ago, they become a thing of the past. i'm only thinking this way because i deleted someone like 5minutes ago. someone who i've deleted before and cut all ties to, but then they decide to call me weeks later to remind me that they still exist, are still an asshole, and are still one of my favorite jerks in town. they begin to inch their way back into my phone, and then back into my "favorites" list with the special ringer, and back into my life just to pull the same bullshit again. and i'm tired.
so, the point, as trite as it may be, is that i'm scrolling through right now wondering who i'm going to take the time to transfer to my new phone, and who else i'm just going to leave in the past to piss someone else off. it's a new year and i'm very tired of old drama and though my solution is immature, it's a solution nonetheless. besides, i'm enough of an asshole for the both of us.. two is just overkill. the end.

to be continued..

2007-01-10T12:29:00.001-05:00

how i loved argentina... let me count the ways:

freddo and volta changed the way i eat icecream. they had these adorable mini sugar cones and they shaped the icecream into a swirly form resembling jimmy neutron's hair. tres adorable and delicious. the best part is that they didn't use scoops there, they were more like icecream spades and i want some so bad! their dulce de leche icecream is to die for, and cubanitos at freddo are cigar-shaped chocolate treats filled with it. it fascinates me how much icecream people consume in other countries and how not-fat the general population is. i'm a fan, for sure.

el caminito was an interesting experience. the colors were vibrant and bold and semi ghetto fabulous. natalie and i had a mini modeling shoot by the train tracks and even played leapfrog over yellow cones while the parentals shopped around. there were amateur tango dancers on the streets and the girls slit was so high that i saw her cellulite. people dressed up as statues who would randomly change positions or smile at you if you contributed to their money box that thanked you for supporting the arts. i however, did not support the arts. not because i don't, i just didnt have any effectivo on me. we sat down for a while and i ordered a .5litre beer with a rather disappointing taste.. but learning about my mom's pin collection made sipping that shitty beer worth it. i laughed so hard, you just had to be there.. i have a very funny family.. i keep thinking we should be on some kind of bilingual reality tv show. anyways, the tour we were originally supposed to take flaked and was over an hour late coming to get us, so we wound up taking a bus there and back. my mom kept warning me to hold on tight since i'm not some kind of public transportation expert (i can handle metro, thats about it) but of course, i didnt totally listen and on the way home, i found myself flailing on the bus during a not-so-abrubt stop. i fell so fast, i didnt even know how the hell it happened. but the funny part is, i took my mom down with me..! i swear she probably hated me for a while but i was too busy laughing to notice. i really didnt know until later that day that i was the one who started it.. truly, i thought my mom was falling and grabbed me with her, but i guess her grabbing me was her attempt to stop me from busting my ass on a bus. i somehow held on to the pole the whole time while my legs went out from under me. all the while, my dad and my sister just stood there watching us flop around like silly american tourists and trying to blend in with the rest of the passengers and act like they didn't know us. see.. these are the times i wish someone was filming us, even if it never made it to tv. i mean, how funny would it be to watch that 5 years from now? my mom and i have a dvd of our trip to iguacu and my favorite part of the video is when we're on the boat and we go under this massive waterfall which knocks my $10 shades off and you just see me panicking about it. so funny. i swear.

the chronicles of my clumsy ass

2007-01-09T14:16:00.000-05:00

school has started again as expected. i was hoping to have a better schedule thats not so scattered throughout the day, but it's day 2, and i think i might sortve be okay with the way it is. i'm stoked beyond stoked about taking sailing this semester! i'm going to need a new pair of sperry's or something and like a head scarf with anchors on it. so exciting. i'm going to be the little girl and the sea! i can't wait to dip out on a sailboat... i just hope that i dont fall out.
i've been really dumbish lately... i kicked my suitcase and wrecked my pedicure.. burnt my forhead with a curling iron.. and fell walking on colley avenue... all soberly. this stupid burn on my head looks gross! so now i have to wear my bangs down every day to cover it.. and risk burning myself again..
i just realized that i don't really have any new years resolutions... but i am learning random italian phrases with my daily culture calendar.. and i did this hip-hop dance aerobics class last night in hopes of not being a total fatty.. i sucked, by the way, but i'm working on it. hopefully by the end of 2007 i will be an italian-speaking sailor who can totally shake her ass.

blogging in bolivia is tres difficult

2006-12-26T10:36:00.000-05:00

but not really, i just don't get it. especially since it´s all in spanish and i´m a spanish school dropout. so for the past week and some i've been having nerdy blogger withdrawls. bolivia is okay.. our luggage took maybe 3 days to get here so i was flipping out for sure and i did not want to speak to anyone unless they could tell me where the hell my bags were. seriously.. i get way pissed when my clothing is in peril. i´m very superficial like that i guess... but i will be damned if someone steals shit. anyway, the things are here and i´m okay.. we leave for argentina tomorrow so i am beyond excited!! i heard argentinians are snobby hotties, but i mean, most hott people are, so whatever. my mommy enrolled me in spanish school when i was little and my teacher was argentinian and the way she spoke just blew my mind. i'm a fan of funny accents.
i went camping-hiking-rock climbing with my cousins and my sister and it was super fun. we went to this place called toro toro where dinosaurs used to play ( i even saw foot prints!) and i was feeling totally jurassic. sometimes, i really thought one of those flying ones would swoop down and kick my ass.. the pterodactyl or whatever... like the pink power ranger used to be. anways, totally jurassic. it took about 5 hours to get there from the city, and it was 95% offroading which is totally fun.. until you look out the window and see a giant precipice. thats the scary shit.. and it rained.. so the dirt became slippery mud and so on. definitely not a roadtrip for pansies.

spell check doesn't work here, and i´m not feeling too grammatical, so don't judge me. i have errands to do!

twenty twenty twenty four hours ago...

2006-12-11T00:23:00.000-05:00

i wanna be sedated. studying is boring. i hate that i have 3 effing exams back to back on tuesday. okay, so it's my fault for flying out thursday and having to reschedule two of my finals, but still... three-three-hour exams in one day? thats 9 hours of my life i'll never get back. i'm going to be the grumpiest bitch in town until sometime around noon on wednesday. and then i get to drive 3 hours to get home. blegh. i don't know where i'm supposed to find the time to pack. or write that stupid paper for the stupidest class of my life. i get why i have to take DURRR business classes, but what i don't get is why i have to sit around writing papers for them.. seriously.. better things to do. i think teachers who teach dumb shit are vengeful.

i hate drinking soda, but what else can i do to stay up all night? i'm not one of those adderall junkies.. so i guess it's mountain dew time. i swear i'm going to be so effing pissed if it makes me break out. no final is worth THAT. at least it's diet so i won't be a fatty nerd on top of it all.

check the weather man, if it's the highs that get you down...

2006-12-09T13:35:00.000-05:00

my skull and crossbones rainboots are finally here! i had to wait over a month for them but it was sooo worth it! now i have two pairs of rainboots (and counting..!) but it hasn't been raining as much as i would like it to. i mean, whats the point if i cant splash around a little? maybe i'll just move somewhere more rainy. anyways i was so excited i took pictures with the tag still on.. whatever, you'd be excited too if you'd been waiting since october for your skull boots. don't judge me. i'm going to be so pissed if see some other girl wearing them.. i swear.. she'll get the mother of all stare-downs..! i definitely need more pink hoodies now.

so last night was blegh. i swear my life is one big waste of an outfit. i really didn't get all dressed up to wind up sitting around arguing in my cupcake dress. i mean, if i knew it was going to be like that, i would have just worn jeans. okay thats a lie... my ass would be in sweatpants and i would have probably brought a snack.

on the bright side, everything is fine now.. and i leave for the motherland in 5 days!

rachel ray doesn't have shit on me

2006-12-05T18:01:00.000-05:00

except of course a fabulous career and a television show.. oh yea, and theres the books and dvd's, but whatever. anyways, i'm not hating.. because i'm secretly in love with rachel ray. i swear, this is what i do when i turn on my tv: i go E!, MTV, VH1, Food Network and then TLC but only when i'm feeling queer- they aim to disappoint lately with all of their baby shows. i think House is on tonight and i am stoked beyond stoked. random. anyway, the highlight of my life is definitely the victoria's secret fashion show! this is why i made peppermint brownies, and also why i think i am the shit as of now. they are sooo gooey.. i definitely ate a row of them... its a wonder i'm not 300 lbs. i make up for my fattyness by eating really small meals, so i guess its okay. i really need to get back to going to the gym though..
i'm super jealous my sister went rock climbing.. i want to go! i really wanted to go kayaking last week when it was randomly nice out, but how much would it suck to fall in that super cold water? umm yea, lots. anyway, it's finals week so i should probably spend more time studying and less time blogging about desserts.

oh yea, i know it looks like the brownies have been sprinkled with crack, but i swear its just crushed candy canes... seriously, in the famously mocked words of whitney houston: "crack is whack." but then again.. so is bobby brown.. and that definitely took her a while to figure out. probably because she was too coked out.

drowning me in your promises, better left unsaid

2006-12-05T00:00:00.000-05:00

dammit i hate finals.. i would totally give up this whole college thing, but i'm too smart to be a house wife, and not quite hot enough for trophy status.. so whats a girl to do but just tough it out? besides, i have a good 15 years before i'll worry about marriage. i guess if i was already 35 and still in school, i'd be okay with dropping out and being domesticated. but for now, i'll continue to run rampant. besides, i need my own dollars.. people who choose to be financially dependent on someone else are major sell-outs. yea, i said it.

you're so vain.. you probably think this blog is about you

2006-12-03T12:36:00.000-05:00

three more days until the sexiest fashion show ever! i'm totally making the most delicious brownies ever to go with it. perhaps mint, or caramel... i made peanut butter last time so i think i should switch it up. yea, i blog about brownies. i'm super cool. if i wanted to talk about life and all of the parts that matter, i'd get a paper journal... and it would probably be a jordi labanda because he is so very rad. yea. totally.
i get to go fishie/grocery shopping today!! i have a fatty fish named coral reefer, and he needs new pebbles for his tank. he totally wrecked some of the other fish that he lived with before.. but i think it's because they started shit with him. my fish is the awesomest. i'm in between whether i want it to be a girl or a boy, because with fish, i'm pretty sure you can pick. unless they randomly get pregnant or something, how am i supposed to know its a girl? seriously.
eleven more days until bolivia/argentina! i'm actually excited to go... even though it means i wont get to spend winter break becoming a better snowboarder (which is lame beyond lame), i'm excited to see a new place. dammit, i wonder if i have to do all my christmas shopping pre-boliv or if i get a get-out-of-jail-free card for doing it post-boliv. we'll see... it's grocery time now.

chivalry's dead but you're still kinda cute....

2006-12-02T10:00:00.000-05:00

so for some reason i don't have to be at work until noon today.. which i guess is fine since i woke up super late. but now i really don't know what to do with myself. i have an hour before i need to get ready and i don't know how to use it.. so therefore, i just won't.. at least for now.
i'm kind of bummed. last week, i chopped my bangs so i could be trendy and stuff, and because i hate my forehead, and i'm not sure how i feel about them. i was going for glam like nelly furtado, but i swear all i need to do is put on my glasses and i'm more geeky ugly betty-ish. especially on my costco card picture. i swear i'm the most unphotogenic person i know. i should just get braces again and complete my super awkwardness. whatever, today is my first day wearing my bangs straight down and not just to the side, so we'll see how this goes. maybe i'll go to changes before work and get a bang trim so i can be more 70's than 90's and hence more nelly than betty. i should probably get dressed or something...

ugh. this is what happens when i'm up and dressed at 8 am with no where to be until noon... i have mini photoshoots with myself. but on the bright side, i now like my bangs.

my cousin daniela smells funny

2006-11-29T17:37:00.000-05:00

yea, thats pretty much it.

so 80's it makes my hair poof

2006-11-29T16:58:00.000-05:00

thanksgiving break can never be too long. i am the Wii boxing and bowling champion at my house and i am damn proud of it. ha. too bad my sister will probably be really good by the next time i get home and she'll totally kick my ass.
i don't care what anyone says, pumpkin ice cream is delicious. and so is anything peppermint, especially peppermint hot chocolate. i ordered a damn ghirardelli catalog because for some reason, the hoodmarts in norfolk don't carry it. so i have to mail-order my fatty hot chocolate which i think is beyond ridiculous... especially since it is taking forever for the effing catalog to get here. i should probably buy it in bulk.... or move to san francisco... the mecca of ghirardelli fattyness.
i've come to the conclusion that i want to be a pastry chef when i grow up. mostly because i can bake, but i'm beyond dumb at cooking anything that was once alive (ie: chicken, beef, fish, whatever.) i make awesome scrambled eggs though.... maybe i'll just be a vegetarian so i wont have to worry about cooking chickens. genius. except i heard vegetarians get really wrinkled and that creeps me out. blegh. i think i like baking so much because i get to eat the raw dough/batter.. but i'm totally turned off by the idea of raw chickens. yea, that's probably it.
anyways, i'm officially pissed that i've been to bolivia 80million times and have barely seen any of it. i had to find out in the study abroad meeting about this awesome place called salar de something or other which they think used to be an ocean or some silly thing. i must go there immediately.
on a shitty note, i razor burned myself. i guess thats what i get for not using my skintimate.
on a fabulous note, the victoria's secret fashion show is on next week and i'm molto eccitato! it makes me think i'm being une grand lesbian but i don't think i care. so whatever, next tuesday night, you know where i'll be. and don't judge me... i do just what i want.

con affetto <3

brunettes are hott

2006-11-22T00:14:00.000-05:00

so excited! i'll be home by tomorrow! but only if this damn weather doesn't get in the way. i hate driving in rain and i hate sitting in traffic, but at least i have my paris hilton cd..! no, but seriously... i do. anyways, i went back to being a very dark brunette today, and i'm getting my hair chopped off tomorrow. my life is SO eventful.

middle-aged, alone & peeing in supermarkets...

2006-11-20T11:23:00.000-05:00

so i've been spending a lot of my time lately wondering when the hell i became so awkwardly clumsy. i've broken about 4 glasses since i moved in to my new apartment.. i even wound up kicking one off my table, and i wasn't even being all karate-like! two weeks ago, i was late for my test and to make it better, i tripped in the hallway in front of my class and not only did i put a bigger rip in my sweatpants, but i successfully broke my flip flops as well. yesterday, i dropped my yoplait at the grocery store and it splattered all over the place, including my moccasin which i was slightly livid about ruining but i'm beginning to get over it(it's kind of a process). anyway, the best/worst part is, it's not even the first time i've send shit flying at the grocery store.. a few months ago, it was a glass jar of very red salsa that somehow didn't make it from the cart to the conveyor belt-thing. so yea,i'm kind of the reason they have to do clean-ups on aisle 5. which reminds me of one of my favorite family guy episodes... you know.. when brian pisses all over the place.. i geek out every time.. gotta go

if the shoe fits, it's ugly

2006-11-19T00:25:00.000-05:00

i'm clearly a huge loser for not going out on a saturday night, but that is neither here nor there. my excuse is that i was beyond tired when i got home from work today, and even though i tried to stay awake, i couldn't do it. besides... the scene is dead. my life has become one big waste of an outfit which only fuels my grungy desire to never take off my sweatpants. i have all these adorable outfits that are never worth wearing out. but then again, you only live once, so i should probably consider getting dressed every now and then. whatever. i'll be better when i turn 21 and can actually go places with dress codes... and then i'll be over it by the time i'm 22.

meanwhile, i'm counting down the days until i get to go home for thanksgiving! not just because i'm a fatass, but also because i'm a bit homesick. and okay, maybe it has something to do with the fact that i get to make all kinds of pie... but it's mostly the homesickness thing.

at least i tried

2006-11-16T17:02:00.000-05:00

my weak attempt at beauty sleep failed miserably. plus, it rained on me and i wasn't even wearing my rainboots! however, i was wearing a very white t-shirt with a very blue bra underneath. cool! i love looking like a spring break floozy... not! at least i wore a bra. anyway... i really want sushi but i'm supposed to be on some kind of diet. some effing diet.. i ate a sandwich and i wanted to puke! che diavolo!

on a brighter note, i get to play at home next week and be somewhere worth shopping on black friday. gotta love it.

primo sonno

2006-11-15T23:16:00.000-05:00

sooo i registered for classes today and realized that i probably have to take 6 language credits. which i guess would be fine since my spanish is muy terrible.. unless of course i'm jamming out to shakira.. i am beyond awesome at that.. but to be honest, i dont always know what the hell i'm singing about. maybe i will take italian so i can move to italy some day... nice. i already got my phrase of the day italian 2007 calendar! i'm so on this language thing. but now its time for beauty sleep... or ugly sleep.. we'll see how i wake up tomorrow. i'm shooting for beauty sleep. i'll cross my fingers.

mierda!

2006-11-14T18:29:00.000-05:00

why are these things so damn addictive? i swear i'm going to have to drop out of school and devote my life to writing useless online journals. especially since they make my sister giggle. she's the one who talked me into it anyway... i blame her completely.

i should probably go to the library now and be super lame... i'd really rather watch food network all day and get beyond fat and jiggly. the best part is that i can't cook for shit and have few intentions to try, but i'm addicted to the damn channel anyway. it's like ESPN for fatties... i can't help it, don't judge me.

excellent

2006-11-14T17:01:00.000-05:00

i am no longer a blog virgin.
this is (obviously) excellent.
on a shitty note...
i am now a blog geek...
but a fabulous one, nonetheless.